Things.

We at the Institute frequently field queries by telephone as to whether or not we have a certain title.  Invariable, the formula I use when responding in the negative is, "Unfortunately, we don't currently have a copy of ----."

With surprising regularity, I have people respond, "You DO?"

Now, I am generally held to be a passable elocutionist.  I had a bit of a stutter as a child, which will occasionally still surface as a bit of a halting quality mid-sentence, but the speech therapy I underwent to treat it gave me rather a clearer diction than most.  That aside--
Why the ever-loving space pineapple would I say,
"Unfortunately, we do have a copy here for you."

An unrelated pet-peeve:

Customers, naturally, often inquire where such-a-genre section is in the store.
It often happens that male customers especially will ask, I or a coworker will come from behind the counter so as to lead them to it, and they will rush to get in front of us.  They will then stumble around, awkward and confused, because they have no idea where they're going.  They simply must be in front, much like the automobile driver on the freeway who suffers from a burning need both to get in front of you and to slow down significantly.

I'm sorry, allow me to bring you a translator.

"Do you have a section for journals?"
I begin in the negative, assuming he meant blank journals.
"--Or for letters...that people have written?"

"Oh! Yes, we have a memoir and autobiography section--"

"No, not autobiography.  Journals.  People's journals and private writing."

"Yes, that would be in our memoirs section.  It's over--"

"No, but, like, stuff that was not intended for publication."

I stare at him blankly in case he'd like to do any further incredibly unnecessary elaboration.

...

...

No?

"Those. would. be. in. our. memoir. section.  It's right back here...."