Pro tip

The Institute for Literary Trends is located on a busy thoroughfare, which means the road noise often is quite loud.  For that reason, we try to keep the door shut unless it is really swelteringly hot and close.

I noticed the door was ajar and walked over to close it.  An incoming customer prevented me.

"What do you have by [author]?" he demanded.
"Sorry?"
"[Author]. He writes on Christianity," He clarified, still standing directly in the doorway.
"We have quite a large Christianity section, it's right over--"
"I can't, I have my cart with me."
I was about to invite him to bring his bike inside and leave it by the window, when I look outside the door and realize he does mean an actual cart.

One piled high with bags.

And on top of the mountain of bags, a dog.

"Bring me all the books you have by this author and bring them to me here." The man instructs, imperiously.

Normally I would tell him, as politely as possible, to go fuck himself.  But the sight of this dog perched majestically like a cake-topper on top of Mt St Crap-heap amuses me so much that I go and check the shelves for him, pick the only title we have by him there, and fetch it to him for his perusal in the doorway.

So I guess the moral of the story is bring a cute* dog with you and you can get away with murder.

* Which is all the dogs, ever.